i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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