Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
