Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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