he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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