I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
