i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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