I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
