you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
