You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
