Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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