hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
