you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
