Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My dick has a subreddit
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
