Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My vagina just clenched in fear
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
