the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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