hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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