last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
