I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
