I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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