Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
