she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
