Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
