He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
