She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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