Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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