Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
