just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize