You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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