How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
