I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
