that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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