5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
