hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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