I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
