If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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