epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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