rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
