im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
