Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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