No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
