We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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