She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
