I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
