Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
