Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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