You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
