I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
