How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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