Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
