one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
