Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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