Where did you get a picture of my penis
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
