Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
